Together Again
by RoxyFoxy
Summary: Unwanted, unloved, that’s what life seems like to me.The only one that kept me sane and safe, was Inuyasha. But that didn’t last for long.They didn’t think I’d have the guts, what I pulled off. They’ll all wish they were dead and not me
1. Intro

Unwanted, unloved, that's what life seems like to me. Nothing is considered normal anymore for me. Everyone is currently laughing waiting me to break down and fall, hoping I'd do something completely stupid and that's exactly what they all asked for. I didn't do it for them, I did this for myself. The only one that kept me sane and safe, was Inuyasha. But that didn't last for long, until he was intoxicated by another. They didn't think I'd have the guts, the bravery to do what I pulled off. They'll all regret and wish they were the ones dead, and not me....

You could say my life was normal, but I'd be lying through my teeth. My life wasn't even considered normal, not with the shit I'd been pulled into. Never was it my concern until I was driven up the wall and back again. Inuyasha was supportive, and understood everything inside and out. We were inseparable; nothing could break us away. We came too far to back down and let the world decide that our lives were going to be miserable. We both had our own problems, and we understood and knew we had difficult lives; unlike the people who complained their lives were completely horrible. They didn't have to deal with a drunk father, or savoring every penny they could find. We were considered outsiders; Nobody could see it through their eyes the exact pain we underwent everyday. Until I showed the world, that made their jaws drop from the news they received. I'm glad they believe it's their fault. But, they were only half of the problem...

Until She came along....

Days were rough enough at school. Every seemed to have nothing better to do than gawk at us because how we were, and who we were. They judged Inuyasha by the looks of his rags he wore, thinking they'd find him fishing out food from a dumpster or clothing from the crappy stores. They would judge people before they actually knew the person, they were all typical like that. All seemed to think exactly alike, hating the same people others did because they didn't have a mind of their own. They glared at me hatefully, thinking I was this bitch because the issues they heard through my household, thinking I'd have a beer bottle half smashed in my hand being the psycho that my father was.. We were too strong to listen to their bullshit, even if the odds were against us. They were all losers that had no mind of their own. It wasn't our fault we weren't perfect. but then again no body can be...

( Basically just an intro. I decided to write it in point of view. Something I've never done before with any stories. So hopefully it's good so far. This is just alittle taste of the story, and I will put up the chapters soon. Please read and review!)


	2. Welcome to my world

I glimpsed at the clock from my bedside, noticing it was already early morning knowing my father was passed out on the couch probably with the whole case of beer bottles empty. I couldn't last any longer here. Either I'd die, or die trying. My hands ran through lush purple sheets, while I attempt to escape and never come back. My bright orange backpack was already half full with all my dark clothing, grabbing my favorite shirt with the band "Nirvana" written in yellow with their symbol. My oak top dresser was bare, only my bed and my closest seemed like the only thing left that remained in the room. My hands grasped the beautiful picture of my mother, and the photos of Inuyasha and I. My mother had wavy raven black hair, and the picture was beautiful. She had the most gracious smile, holding the bouquet of lavender in the garden that was in full bloom. I love that picture so much, just as much as Inuyasha's.He looked awfully cute in his black muscle shirt and his baggy jeans. His long winter white hair, and his beautiful dark brown cunning eyes. Without him I'd probably end up in an asylum or dead. He's the only one that's keeping me sane, even if I don't feel like I am. I know I'm not. Not when your dealing with a wasted father that beats and abuses you everyday of your life. I could only stare at the picture constantly. It seemed so fake with the smiles you'd rarely catch on our faces. It had been awhile since I smiled, or even laughed with happiness. Usually I'd laugh out of spite, hate or nervousness. Even looking at a still picture of him, made me feel a lot better and made me forget about the hard times we both endured and continued to go through. It seemed like hell never had a start or a ending. He gave me enough hope that I would make it out of here, and soon be free from the beast that was always on a rampage.

My dark violet eyes glimpsed around the room, with my bag tied and secure with everything I could possibly need if I was to venture out, if I was to live on my own. I didn't know where I was going, or didn't really care all. I begged for was to get out and I wasn't going to remain to be a prisoner anymore in this house hold. If I had to live on the streets bare, I would do it in a heart beat. I was fed up enough, and I was going to prove to my father he didn't deserve anyone in his life, not even his own daughter.. I took one last good glimpse in my mirror that laid on my dresser, seeing how skinny I appeared. My skin had the palest complexion ever, nobody's skin could ever look like death like mine did. I was just on the verge of remaining alive, and being on my own now was my own choice if I wanted to live. I tried to save my father countless times, but it seemed I couldn't power him. I tried getting rid of all the alcohol in the house, but that caused me more pain that ever. I remembered clearly he forced his huge hands against my neck, digging his thumb into my side feeling the blood dripping from the corners of my mouth and slowly running out of oxygen. Luckily, I'm still alive. But I don't know if that is considered lucky anymore. When my mother was buried, my father was late to come to my own mother's funeral. It seemed like the bar was more important than his own partner dying. His face showed no pain, or any emotions at all. I clearly remember the day my mother had tragically died. I was abit younger, but after hearing my mother screaming for her life I understood why I was considered screwed up, and my life.

Flashback 

"Daddy, you want to see my colorful drawings? I made it just for you!" My father was pretty massive, but he seemed like a gentle soul but I could hardly remember it. My mother had dressed me in a beautiful ivory colored dress with lace that made me look cute and made me look completely innocent than ever. My raven black hair was tied in a bun, showing my father my painting that only looked like colors; Hardly anything you could make out. I enjoyed my father's company than. He use to take me to the park and places so I could play, and spoiled me at times too. The house seemed a lot bigger and actually standing in place then, than it was now. The walls were painted bright green and white that were my mother's favorite colors. On the kitchen table was fresh picked lavender flowers that was as that matched my eyes as well as my mother's. It made the house seem so wonderful and so pleasant. Unlike the rotten smell of wood and beer thrown everywhere. Back when everything seemed prefect, but I didn't realize what horrors things could bring a mere child.

My mother was in the kitchen chopping some herbs on her cutting board, she was always found in the Italian designed kitchen making me dinner or a simple snack. Her head turned around with a beautiful smile on her face, anyone could fall in love with. She could hear my happy, cheerful voice pleased with the drawing that I always showed her first. My father just walked stumbled into the door late, hardly turning the knob properly. His face was white as a ghost, seeing the eerie look that didn't look my dad then. He looked possessed like something had taken over him, and I was pretty nervous the way he walked and gave me this sickening smile. "Daddy, are you alright? Daddy? Daddy!?" His massive hands grabbed my ankles, breathing heavily I didn't know what he was going to do to me, just the look said it all. He reeked of the beer and sweat, and he didn't say a word to me. His thick hands held me down to the floorboards while I could only wail and scream, that's all I could do. The look in his eye, was nothing I'd ever seen before in my life. He was completely gone. The father I once loved inside and out was dead. Completely dead. Nothing but an empty shell, with no love or happiness left. From there on out he was never, ever considered my father again.

My mother could hear my desperate screams, rushing in with anything sharp she could find trying to pry me loose from his insane, tense grip. She was already melting in fear, and her thick, black mascara was running down her face. She seemed completely shattered and struck, and she knew then she had to protect me, even if it meant sacrificing her own life. Her voice screamed, until she jabbed him letting me go finally. I was too scared to leave my mother alone with him, and too scared to leave without her. I stumbled upstairs with fresh tears on my face, telling me not to even dare look back. My body flew full force into the bathroom locking the door, curled up in the corner trying to keep myself sane with my doll. But how could I? My mother's screaming continued, until a smash of glass hit against the floor and no words, or screams came from her. Finally it was over, and my father had murdered her.

_End of flashback _

My head could only shake trying to rid myself of the pain that intoxicated my mind. How could I take a step backwards at a time like this? My hands nervously edged towards the black colored phone dialing as quick as possible. It was truly my lifeline, and my only lifeline. I could only hear the rings in my ears, holding my bag securely in my lap narrowing my eyes hating the world for hating me. "_Inuyasha. I need you now. Where the hell could you be when I need you.." _ I needed him desperately, more than anyone realized. My eyes lit up when I heard a rough, deepened voice finally picking up the phone at the last minute. My hand grasp the picture of me and him together, I needed to run away with him and never come back ever. I tried to hide my whimpers and the sadness that hid beneath him, but that failed. "Kikyo..Kikyo.. talk to me what's going on?" His voice sounded completely concerned, while I jokingly laughed it off like nothing had happened to me at all. I couldn't lie to him if I tried. Even when I wanted him out of my personal life, I couldn't have the heart to ever say no to him. He cared about me too much, and I realized he was more than I could ever want. My fingers wrapped around the phone cord, grabbing my black jacket preparing myself to escape through the window. "Inuyasha, I can't take this anymore, I just can't. I'm not going to wait around and let my father kill me either. I'm going to run away. I don't care where the hell I'm going, I'm leaving this place. I'm leaving with or without you."

I told him many times I was going to leave, but all of them backfired on me. Complete silence was between us, knowing he was thinking about everything I said that seemed to hit him completely all at once. "Kikyo..Listen, this is crazy. You don't have enough money, and if you didn't I'd give it to you. I don't want you getting hurt and being all by yourself. Who knows what could happen to you! I'm not risking you doing this. I love you too much Kikyo for you to be in the position." I could tell just from his tone he cared too much of me. I saw no other idea at all. All the money I tried to make or keep, was stolen and wasted. My voice was building with anger. I didn't need money, it wasn't completely that huge for me to survive. "You think staying here with my father any longer is going to help me!? He fucking killed my mother Inuyasha. My own god damn mother! Do you think I'm going to last any longer if I stay there?! Inuyasha I've had enough. I can't stay here much longer. I won't be around that much longer if I don't do anything!" He understood everything, he just wished it didn't have to come down with this. His brown eyes widen listening to my insane ideas thinking it wouldn't help me either. His hands grasped the phone completely out of breath, trying to find another way out of this. "Kikyo..listen."

I refused to even reason with him, my decision was final. "Inuyasha, I'm not going to listen alright?! This is my decision and you can't do anything about it!" I'd never, ever hung up on him, but finally I did. I didn't want to hear what he'd say and there was no better way out. My bag was already packed, and I was ready to leave with, or without him. If I had to go on my own, I would go with a heart beat. Inuyasha was crazy about me, but we both had enough difficult problems and finally I made the decision. Right or wrong. I didn't care if I was to die on the streets, at least I'd die in peace. " _Inuyasha,_ _I'm sorry. This is my choice, and it's the only way out of this hell. It would have been better maybe if we weren't together. You're the one who's holding me back from all this. Now, I'm going and not once am I going to turn back."_

My bag was packed, and this plan I thought for weeks at a time waiting for the precious moment to grab my stuff and run to the middle of nowhere. I slung the heavy backpack over my one shoulder, watching the door nervously knowing my father he'd listen to my conversations. My violet eyes gleamed at the door, with my one leg over the ledge hearing massive shaking footsteps. I was a perfectionist at this. I did it so many times but never once did I ever get caught. _"Well see how's it going to be. I don't care anymore what you say. You were never my father in the first place, and you never will be." _My father didn't mean nothing to me anymore. My fear for him was completely gone, only hate grew inside me for him. Since he wasn't my father, I wasn't going to be his daughter. It was as simple as that.

My feet horribly landed on the cement, feeling my skin tear the minute my skin hit the ground at force. I wasn't going to stay here any longer, I was going to find a better life other than here. I didn't care if I was living in an alley, nothing mattered to me anymore.

I could go one day without food, and I could tolerate days without having a warm roof or a pillow supporting my head. Even when I was young girl my hands pawed the windows wishing I could be free like the birds in the sky, and now I had a chance to be. Inuyasha knew clearly I was stubborn and once I had my mind made up nothing could stop me not even himself. I know I love him unconditionally, but sometimes we make the choices that aren't the brightest ones. My father deserved not have nobody in his live left. He deserved to be alone for the hurt and the hell he placed on my own mother and myself.

He deserved to rot alone drinking his beers, until he dies of alcohol poisoning, and I'm surprised he hasn't yet from the rate he's going. It may sound harsh how I talk about my father, but my own flesh and blood killed my own mother. How could I ever find it in my heart to forgive him when he's done enough damage that it's irreversible, and unforgivable. He should be the one six feet under ground, and not my mother. He'll realize soon enough, without me he's nothing. He won't have any money, or any for beer. Someday, he'll realize the mistake he made. Without me, he's nothing but a person rotting his life away. Someday he'll die, and I hope those thoughts of my mother will haunt him for the rest of life. I know when people die, they are suppose to rest in peace. I know my mother won't be resting. Not now, not ever. Not when it wasn't her turn to die, and when her life wasn't ready to be over with.

My eyes lingered magically at the sight of the florescent bright lit moon high in the skies, peering through the ash colored storm clouds. Finally it was dark, and my escape would be easier if I was hidden by the shadows. My blinds rapidly flew inside and out of my window from the heavy wind, while adjusted my backpack and ran like I never had done before. I could feel the stuff I packed bouncing in my bag, while my zippers made noise while I continued runner faster and faster. I didn't need water, or soap to wash my face. I knew I could just stop into the restaurant bathrooms cleanse my face, and tame my hair and run back out to the streets. If anyone else from my high school attempted this, I could guaranteed they wouldn't last one day one the street. They wouldn't know how to fend themselves or even get running water. They were too dense and spoiled to understand the meaning of "harsh life" at all. Luckily, I knew well enough to defend myself after attending self-defensive for a couple years. That's the first time I saw Inuyasha ;before we discovered we attended the same school.

My mother always wanted me to be safe and be able to take care myself, when with my psychotic father was lurking around. She wanted me to be safer and be able to protect myself if anything was to happen to me. My hands rummaged through the junk mail the day after my father tried to hurt me; maybe even kill me if he had gotten the chance. My eyes struck seeing self-defensive pamphlet thrown in loosely with all the junk mail, only people who had no lives read it. I understood it was important myself I had to learn this, I was afraid if I didn't my life would be shorter than it actually was. I wasn't going to give my father the opportunity to attempt to kill me either. I used some of the money from my mother's will, and I was able to stay involved there for a couple of years until my father discovered the hidden money and used it on beer. That money was for my future; there was enough to cover child funds, house costs, and even my very own job. At least I was there long enough to be able to understand fully the moves, that would save me if I would ever get attacked on the street. In that whole two years it taught me a lot, and I knew one day I'd have to put them to use; much faster than I realized. My father didn't understand how I seemed so skilled and was able to encounter every swing and move he gave to me.

My skin had a bright complexion back then, instead the white cream colored skin that looked on the verge of dieing. My stomach seemed to twist in knots inside and out, nervous because I never attempted anything like this before. It was brand new to me.

My ears could hear the heavy traffic directly behind me; impatient people honking, cars colliding into each other. It wasn't the prettiest thing to see, or hear. The self-defensive place was located in the worst part of the city, basically where everyone lived. My tanned hands grasped my gym bag that I used then for self-defensive, staring at the red sign with the white lettering. "Siami's Self-Defensive"

I knew then, it was going to save me. I know, that without it I would have been six feet under ground along with my mother. My mother wanted me to live a strong happy life,

And I know for my sake and her sake; I'm still breathing and completely alive.

_**Author notes: **_

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm trying my best to write an point of view story, and it sometimes can be hard. I'm surprised with the reviews I've gotten, even with just an intro! Thank you all so much! Please R&R and tell me what you think so far of this twisted story.


	3. Bitter Sweet

I felt nervous and confidant knowing that self-defensive would save me, and let me see another day. If it wasn't for that pamphlet I discovered thrown in with the junk mail, I would have probably been dead on the ground, or even buried six feet under along with my mother. The noises of people shouting and screaming across the street, hearing them shouting over ridiculous things, while the cars sped by in such a rush close to knocking people off their feet. So many people where I stood standing, had been killed. I could tell by the dieing bouquet of flowers, and hand crafted hearts that were tapped and standing on the traffic island in the middle of the busy intersection. The bloody red flowers were fading into black, while my eyes caught more flowers that was stood right at the edge of the sidewalk. My violet eyes narrowed at the sight of two young girls shaking rapidly inside the bus shelter waiting to take, a bus home alone. I understood this part of the city was screwed up enough as it was, it wasn't right to have ten year olds waiting for a bus at that time of night either.

My hands felt frost bitten already, just by being exposed the cold windy weather of fall. My cream colored hand grasped the door, hoping all this would prepare me against my father. It amazed me that I wasn't already dead yet, he had so many chances to kill me but yet he decided not to. In one point in time I thought he had a heart underneath his hatred and anger, how could he when he murdered my mother? My heart was already pounding out of my chest, cause I knew I would have to use these moves more than anyone else would have to. The streets in my eyes seemed safer than my own home. They didn't always have the sensation of someone's hands grasping their neck, or something against their neck either. Most of the high school students think half of my life is all a little joke to make people believe, but they are stupid if they don't. Who in their right minds would make this story up? I learned to accept the fact that I could trust nobody else, except Inuyasha; he understands my pain and suffering, and I know that's one true reason why we are together. And this is how I met him...

I paced myself into the warm, small building feeling the cold wind disappear off my back.

My eyes were stunned in amazement watching men and women swinging punches into the air, and their eyes narrowed following every move of the male instructor. I stood quietly with the white pamphlet in my hand staying out of harm's way, leaning against the wall observing. There were mirrors everywhere; huge blue mats laid on the ground. There were a couple of punching bags hanging from the wall, but there was hardly anything in the room. I seemed very anxious noticing the skill and how accurate they were. The male instructor seemed very tense and I could tell from the sweat dripping underneath his black bangs. There was someone that caught my attention. He seemed angered and very determined and hardly blinked at all. His dark brown eyes looked almost black, and his long white winter hair stood out from everyone else's. He also had a very pale complexion, exactly like mine. He looked pretty tough and angry at the world, and step by step I understood why. The class graciously sat down clapping after each and every move, while the instructor's deepened voice stopped in the midst's of his instructions. He saw me laying against the wall in the shadows, waiting to be able to join.

"Class, wait one minute. Don't just stand there, drop your bags and join the rest of us. If you don't want to learn I suggest you get out right this second. If you are a tough girl you'll stay." The classmates heads swung in my direction chattering, watching their eyes shift constantly and their hands covering their mouths, whispering. I knew for sure they were making fun of my complexion, and truly how I white I looked. My arms and legs were completely frail, and they could tell just by looking at me something was defiantly wrong. They all had nothing better than do, to judge someone before they even got to know them. It seemed that's all the world was made of. Stupid, ignorant people that had nothing better to than gawk at someone who stood out amongst the crowd. It was nothing I wasn't use to, just made me sick this was how our society was. The teenage girls just laughed hurtfully, while the guys stood in stunned silence and I could only wonder what they were picking me apart for. Maybe my dull dry hair, or my skin complexion. I could read it their eyes, they were looking for something to tear me apart for and it seemed, that's what life was about. My frail hands grabbed the bright elastic from my wrist, nerve racking watching everyone stare at me, like some freak of nature.

"We don't have all day. Please tell us your name at least so we can get this over with." The instructor seemed pushy and impatient, and it seemed everybody was in a rush to do something. The women just glared at me with hate and satisfaction, as though they didn't like me just by looking how I presented myself. I threw my gym bag to the side, tying my black hair back narrowing my eyes back at everyone else who dared to even give me a look when they didn't understand who I was. Nobody did. I didn't even bother to let them. When people thought they knew the real me, they truly didn't. I had more problems that anyone else could see.

"Kikyo." I replied throwing myself down on the floor heavily, while everyone finally drew their attention away from me. I sat directly beside Inuyasha who had an angered look on his face, seeing his one hand hold up his face weakly. His silver colored hair shone beautifully, even looking into his eyes told me his life was no walk in the park either. Something else about him intergued me, other than his fighting skills. He didn't even say a word, or mentioned anything about himself. He seemed mysterious and didn't seem willing to let anyone understand him, or even hear his own voice. Everyone else would talk and smile, and laugh. Not him. He seemed like he had more to him than that. He seemed like a teenage boy that was shaken and broken too many times to count.

The instructor nodded with a keen smile, making everyone stand on their feet, while they listened to every command and word that flew from his mouth. His black shimmering eyes narrowed at Inuyasha with a smile, whispering my name gently to come in front of everyone so they could judge me even more. His hands gently placed against my shoulders, knowing I'd have to stand there and make more of an ass out of myself. My violet eyes weakly looked at him, while everyone suddenly shut their mouths when his hands violently swung by. "Now Kikyo, why did you desire to come here?" My heart slowly but surely jumped to my throat. He was already passing the line with personal questions that were none of anybody's business. I wasn't going to tell them about the reason, it was too much to tell about me. I wasn't in my right mind gonna tell the complicated reason why I wanted to do this. All I knew is I needed it, if I wanted to live longer than sixteen. I wasn't going let have even a taste of my life, and not even say that I wanted to sign because my father is abusive. I didn't need anymore people to complicate my life more than it was. They didn't deserve to know, and frankly nobody did. "None of your damn business." My voice sternly warned him, that I wasn't going to share what I kept inside and tried to keep hidden. They all seemed to drop their mouths wide open, like I committed a sin or something stupid like that. Only expect Inuyasha, who's eyes beamed at me while throwing himself against the wall. The instructor seemed amazed at the heated anger, with the response I gave him. It didn't seem like anyone had told him off like that angrily, and he had no right to understand my life. His deepened voice chuckled as though he was taking me for some kind of joke. "Interesting Kikyo. With that tone you sound like you truly are a fighter. We will see about that."

It seemed there was more to this whole self-defensive than I realized. My eyes were completely focused on the tinted windows, and getting use to the small environment surrounding me. By the look on the stranger's faces they all predicted and knew exactly what was about to happen. I guess they knew this happened to new comers all the time. I didn't know maybe because I was new, and felt like an complete outsider anyways . I completely lost focus for a minute, and noticed the silver haired boy running full force from the doorway with his brown eyes looking at me, as though he was ready to murder me. His hair swayed simmering from the lights above, grasping his hands around my neck in surprise and fear. I began to understand, why everyone seemed excited and so anxious for this. They used the toughest person in the class to challenge to see what I knew myself, on protecting and fighting back. My head swung around realizing the strong hold his hands truly had, over me. He had complete power, and simply I felt threatened and frozen to the spot. My violet eyes glared back at him like a threat, feeling the sensation of tiredness ready to fall asleep. He was overly strong, and it amazed me how he could throw me around so easily. My hands could only swing pathetic punches and kicks, not even aiming or able to move my feet or my hands. His body laid over mine, pinning me down instantly hearing my light scream and struggle constantly.

His warm hands grasped my wrists,while his body weight held me down in a uncomfortable position. I couldn't even turn my head, I felt completely paralyzed and useless. I must of looked stupid that I couldn't even get even a hand out of his grip. I realized, if he could over power easily so could my father. I thought if that was my father, I would have been dead before it was even considered over.

Inuyasha refused to make his grip loose, he made sure I felt pain and the true sensation of feeling threatening and confronted. His brown eyes hardly even blinked, he stared into my violet eyes deeper, like he was staring right through me. "Come on wench, let's see you fight..." His deepened voice finally came from his mouth, sounding tormented, rusty and cold as clay. I kept up a constant struggle, I knew if he won it would be exactly letting my own father getting away with murder and I would refuse to let that happen. Inuyasha knew I was stubborn; just the way I attempted to struggle out of his grip, even when most people were already down crying out mercy. I knew I had the fighting spirit, but that didn't seem like enough to knock him down. In the corner of my eyes I could feel tears ready to flee down my face from the pain, and I knew eventually I'd have to give up. I could finally feel my hand slowly rise, but the minute I thought I was safe he proved me wrong.

His hand brutally whipped it down to the ground, and I could feel my knuckles smack hard meeting the floor feeling exactly like cement. My eyes tighten and winced and pain, and finally I let out a soft scream feeling my hands drop hard and the air circulating back into my lungs again. His warm violent hands released from my wrists, with his eyes still plastered on my grayish-violet eyes. Finally, I could inhale gathering all the air he squeezed directly out of me. I could hear the childish laughs coming from the girls my age, I could wait to face them and knock them out for being so inconsiderate. They looked weak themselves; they had skinnier arms and legs than I did that was sickening to even look at them. No wonder why, they had signed up for self-defensive. Everyone signed up for the hell and the fun of it, it seemed but I knew I would have to use this way earlier than expected. I knew also, this was something nobody could learn over night. Sometimes I wish things could be that way.

I threw myself against the wall, gathering all the air I possibly could before I could even say I felt alright. Determination and hate shone through both the silver haired guy's eyes and mine; we were both here, and defiantly not for the sport either. The instructor gave a devious laugh at my mere attempt to throw the guy off of me; I believed a lot of girls needed to learn this more than men needed to. Girls were always roaming the street at night, even younger than fourteen and anything could happen to them. Rape was a big factor in the city; sick, twisted men roaming around like aroused, animals doing whatever they pleased without guilt. The men were strong enough to take care of themselves, but we are considered weak and that's why so many can take advantage of us. We don't have the right to be roaming around at dark, even if we had a good reason to. Welcome to the sick society we all live in.

The instruction grasped the water bottle, drenching his throat ready to give out more detailed and hard instructions. "Now everyone you will be assigned with an partner to learn the difficult techniques." His hands waved to get people paired up, and it seemed me and Inuyasha were the only ones out sitting alone.

We eventually had to get up, and follow through with this whether we liked it or not. His brutal hands left a red rash mark on my neck and my wrists, and I could tell he was completely serious about this like I felt. I wanted to ask him so many questions why he seemed like he hated the world, but I'd be butting into his personal space just like the instructor did with me. Inuyasha's brown eyes glared at me hatefully, and it felt so awkward that none of us were talking. Everyone else was chatting, laughing getting acquainted with the others but we remained still and motionless. He had only said one word to me, that was nothing other than friendly. The word wench strongly ringed in my head, and those were the only words that rolled off his lips. He stood completely still and impatient, while he wiped the sweat from his white winter bangs. "Kikyo, right?" His voice had unique character to it; it sounded bitter yet caring at the exact time. My eyes blinked for a moment, watching his face wringed slightly and while his left eye twitched.

"Yes." I calmly answered feeling abit nervous I was put up against the guy who had just kicked my ass completely. His hands just rested on his hips, laughing hysterically like he was legally insane. There was more to him than that.

"Feh, nice name, if you are named after a pathetic flower." His voice hissed and laughed at the same time, while he noticed the mild angered expression on my face. He was already starting with me, and by the looks in his eyes he was just alittle boy that had nothing better to do than torment and challenge the opposite sex. My violet eyes slightly narrowed, noticing the flare and spunk coming from this seventeen year old guy.

My face hardly showed any emotion, and it wasn't like I actually cared that he dissed me already by starting with my name. If he wanted to play this childish game, I was going to let him. Show him what a fool he was for thinking in his right mind he could get me going. "Oh, and I doubt your name is any better." Everyone was else practicing moves, instead we stood here like children arguing over the stupidest thing anyone could possibility imagine. Still, I hated it but at the same time this was getting interesting for me. Still, there was something underneath that made him stand out and I couldn't put my finger on it. He intrigued me with his attitude; rarely anyone had that exact fiery attitude.

You could hear people's feet and hands meeting with the hard punching bag, while Inuyasha and I just stared at each other like it was someone competition. He gently bit his lip, watching his relaxed hands turn into fists and I could tell his name was no better either.

"It's Inuyasha. Don't even start with my name alright? Really, I don't see any reason why girls would want to fight. Why would a beautiful girl want to fight anyways? Your weak and pathetic as it is Kikyo. So you know this isn't going to be a challenge for me, you already proved that not too long ago." His coarse bitter-sweet voice was none other than cocky. It seemed he complimented me but at the same time mocked me. Inuyasha I could tell just looking into his heated brown eyes, something inside he was hiding and I knew I'd eventually figure it out someday. He seemed like an interesting character, and we both seemed to stand out more than anymore. His silver white hair, was enough to say he was different and his attitude made it sound like he hated every human being except himself. There was no trust, only hate and pleasured anger he gave off. My eyes just narrowed, how the hell could he say there was no reason that girls should fight? We have a lot more problems to deal with than men. To me, they seemed to have to easy going for them, and they never had an ounce a guilt in their bodies and my father proved that.

He truly disgusted me, and his attitude was enough to drive you up the wall and back again. My black hair was all thrown out of place from getting thrown around, and I had no clue why I had to prove anything or speak to him what was on my mind when it was completely useless. "Listen Inuyasha, we have a good reason to fight. For myself, I needed to come here and you don't know the half of my life alright? So why don't you just butt out of my business, obviously your too thick headed to realize anything."

My heart just jumped to my throat; I don't even know why I lead him to believe something was wrong with my life and just by my tone of voice he could tell there was.

He had a lot of attitude, and his eyes had hate written all over them.

We had been fighting each other for basically the whole class, and we already saw the other classmates rushing for their bags and their clothing hung on the small racks. I just ripped the elastic out of my hair, letting it down which felt a lot comfortable for me. The instructor was already out of the class, probably getting a drink ready to head home to his own loving family. Inuyasha viciously grabbed his black coat off of the rack, watching me walk ahead of him. "Try me...." It sounded like he gotten a thrill out of life if someone else was worst than his. It made him happier to know his life wasn't the gaping whole he thought it was. I quickly tied the jacket, the ones with the mysterious holes that I had received from my father. I could taste and smell the nasty stench of the city, it wasn't anything pleasant. You could taste the exhaust in your mouth and it was revolting even to have taste of it. The huge buildings towered over the streets, seeing the lights illuminating all the windows you could see from the distance. My eyes glanced over at the bus shelter, and noticed the young girls were gone. I could only wonder if they actually made it home, or if crazy people of the city decided to give them a detour?

My head just bowed down from the smoke and smog, trying to gain any fresh air I possibly could. Inuyasha was walking steadily beside me, copying every beat and every footstep I made. "Inuyasha it's none of your business. It isn't anybody's business alright!? So just lay off!" My voice was stern and hateful; just like it always sounded. Even when I talked to just people, they thought their was always something wrong and there always is. Inuyasha finally disappeared from my side, feeling the tension inside me disappear. Finally I could actually breathe, without the world asking me so many stupid personal questions. My head was aching, and my heart was pounding. I hated walking down into the quiet vague streets, and only street lights lit the way. I sometimes wish I could call my father and ask him to drive me home and be safe, but I knew he'd never do me that favor. He probably be too intoxicated to even drive in a straight line, let alone take me home. I didn't even want to go home. I had to. It was my place with a roof over my head, and food in my stomach. I knew once I had a good job and money, I'd step my foot right out the door and never dare return. "_Why did he insist of understanding my life!? He wouldn't care anyways, he'd probably try to hurt me any way he possibility could. Calling me weak and pathetic. How am I weak when I have to deal with an abusive, intoxicated father? Also dealing that my own father killed my mother. If anyone else had this problem they probably couldn't stand it, and go out of their right minds. I don't know it's important for him. He won't learn the half of it. I won't let him."_

My violet eyes gazed at the darken street, feeling the cold chill of fall get to me. The park looked eerier than ever; the swings creaked with every gentle sway noticing the huge school still standing. My life wasn't ordinary and I knew that well enough. I didn't seem good enough for anyone, and I knew now nobody was good enough to me. I'd wake up and face my father's rampage, trying to keep myself sane. Even that was a hard enough task when you've known this hell all your life. Travel to school to get the same laughter same hate, out of all the teenagers that didn't even have a heart or a brain in their head. Come home, and face my father again. Fall asleep, and wish you'd never wake up to see the light of day. There was never an ounce of happiness, and when there was something had to ruin it. I heard footsteps dashing behind me; heavily pulling and pushing it's self along sounding out of breath enough as it was. There it was; Inuyasha trailing behind me wondering why the hell he'd be stalking me all this time.

"Inuyasha, why you think you have the right to insult me, and stalk me? You gonna try to find my place and see if I'm living in hell?" I thought he was gone and went the other way, and by the looks of it he was just going to put more problems on my shoulders. His white hair looked silver underneath the flashing street lights. He was someone else who stood amongst the crowd, and I was glad I wasn't the only one who did. Maybe I wasn't an outsider I thought. Inuyasha's brown cunning eyes shot right through me, hearing his rusty, fiery attitude fire directly at me. He seemed like he hated life enough, and didn't seem friendly either. I knew something made him hateful, and I learned I wasn't the only one with nasty problems. "Kikyo, no I decided to walk you home...." His voice sounded bitter sweet, while I could only turn my head away, I didn't need to fight with him the moment I felt calm and at ease. "Like you have a heart to do something like that. Quit following me...." My voice was strained and course, hardly could say anything in the mean, nasty tone like I usually did. He paced himself beside me, looking at the sternly, hated look on a girl's face. He acted like he never saw that expression, let alone on someone like me.

"Feh, why would I waste stalking some hideous women? I'm going to my place which is sadly down the same path as yours." I felt myself tense up, I didn't understand what game he was trying to play. "Hmm this coming from the guy who complemented on me earlier. Listen Inuyasha, why don't you just shut your mouth, I shouldn't be wasting my time on you anyways." He seemed too stubborn, and his face wringed when he heard even the tone of my voice lingering in his ears. Inuyasha was nothing but an asshole to me at first; it seemed he couldn't trust anyone let alone be nice in general. I learned to understand Inuyasha, and knew underneath all he was, was a lonely guy that had enough issues like mine. His hands flexed into fists while his feet, stepped into the puddles right beside me. "Kikyo, you always like biting people heads off? Or is that in your nature to be a wench?" Inuyasha knew what buttons press; Nothing got to me at all, but with Inuyasha it was all different. He knew how to twist and bend me the wrong way, but somehow we developed the oddest friendship that way. He wasn't no ordinary guy, and I knew something else about him drove me nuts, yet something made me have the desire to tolerate him; no matter how much he got on my nerves.

"Inuyasha listen, I've got enough problems I don't need some guy to complicate them even more." My violet eyes narrowed, watching him freeze the moment we stood on the corner just a few blocks away from my trashy street. His face looked paler in the shadows, while his silver long hair was something that was unique that I also I liked about him. Nobody I knew had hair like that, but it wasn't the hair that intrigued me, it was more of his mysterious attitude. His rough hands dully grasped my face, staring into my gray-violet eyes that made me freeze and made my heart jump into my throat and back again. I could feel his rough fingertips touch my cheeks seeing the expression on his face, that I couldn't even label. "It amazes me Kikyo, such a strong, spirited women would have problems." His rusty deepened voice sounded sincere, something I never expected to hear. It threwme off so much, I didn't know what he was doing or what was even going on around me. He still had the agitated look on his face like he hated me, yet he confused me easily. "Well wench, see you around." His voice flared into cockiness distancing himself down the long road, seeing the rain bounce directly off his shoulders.

I began to walk to my house, but with all my problems and at the pace it seemed like an hour. My heart was already jumping to my throat, seeing my white house looking like hell. I could only heavily swallow hoping I could face him without getting beaten or tormented to death. The way he looked at me, was like facing Satan or Hitler in my eyes. There was no good inside him; He had no heart, no love, and no guilt when he attempted to kill his own daughter. But here I am, knowing I'm going to suffer hell.

Sometimes I just wish, I could sleep and never wake up again.

Author's Notes 

So far I think this is the longest I've written for a chapter! Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, and I thank you guys for all the reviews I received so far. Please R&R!


	4. Black and White

Inuyasha walked down the street like a mysterious stranger I met and I could only wonder if he could save me, and could keep me sane from the rest of the screwed up world we lived in? I didn't know what was about to happen but I just wished he could have stayed longer with me. I may look like a tough women just by looking at the flare and the hate in my violet gray eyes but that's only a big lie. If I was, I wouldn't feel I needed that silver hair mutt around me longer than he actually was. I couldn't bother him either; he wouldn't be the person to care about me or understand me anyway, it seem like he had enough problems of his own to deal with and he didn't need me to complicate them anymore. But at least I know one thing; him and are outsiders. I found someone who bleeds inside and tries to escape. I know now at least I'm not alone.

" _Inuyasha…" _ I mouthed his name pathetically. His name tenderly rolled off my lips. Why did I feel I had to say his name? And why did I feel alone the minute he left when basically I am? Nothing was making sense at all to me at that moment on. My head was spinning and still I was basically trying to figure out who he truly was and who I was.

Confusion was daunting me, and the hate I felt for that monster of a father was consuming me. The fact I knew I had to live there until I could gather enough money to let myself walk alone on the streets, but that seemed longer than me ever. If my mother was alive she would have taken me in her arms and would have run as fast as she could. She wouldn't have cared where she would go or what would happen to her, she'd take me somewhere safe and defiantly somewhere far. When people even mention that word " father" I don't know how they can when I can't even call him that anymore. He can't be my loving father every child is suppose to have if he actually killed the love of his life and almost killed his own daughter? When my mother's friends said I had my father's delicate eyes that made me hate myself and them even more. I'm nothing of my father. I don't think any child deserves a father.

I see these young happy fathers with smile painted on their faces while their daughter and son are screaming out of laughter and not fear. They push them back in the swing, and laughing with them and not at them. I believe if I don't have a father to love neither should they. I know it wasn't my fault that my father turned out like this, but who else can I blame? My father was too much of a consumed asshole to care about me at all. To me I look at him and he's as good as dead to me. I remember waiting on those damn swings for him to pick me up and he didn't come for hours at all. I was only four or five and I watched the little kids disappear one by one and waiting for his bright green car to pull up to the sidewalk and greet him with open arms, but he didn't come that awful night. He left only daughter there to freeze and cry silent tears while I watched, everything become eerie in the shadows and the moon's glow. No children were playing at the park then. I was too scared to even move and walk down the street, and I was pretty much scared when I saw these horrible looking teenagers laughing psychotically and seeing cigarettes burning. I knew my mother would have come to save me if she wasn't working and my father… he didn't remember, he didn't care, he was at the bar too screwed up to even drive a car straight even when he knew his daughter was there..

" _Daddy..daddy where are you!" _How I hated remember calling him that. But he was a father to me then in my eyes until things got worse. The swings were moving by themselves and the night covered the sky like a blanket while the naked trees danced in the air. My eyes looked around in fear. I could hear laughter; and not the happy laughter that came from young kids and their parents. A laughter that worried me that made me feel unsafe than I practically was. I waited hoping, my father would pull up beside me and would open the door and apologize and worry about me like any parent would. He couldn't be a parent if he left his young daughter at the park till 2 in the morning while he was chugging back so many god damn beers, he would have instantly forgotten about me.

" _Daddy please come where are you? You scared to be all alone in the dark without your daddy? Is daddy going to save you?" _ I could hear someone imitating my voice that was low and raspy, that didn't sound entirely welcoming. It was entirely frightening to even hear the voice linger in my ears. My heart was pounding out of my chest, begging to get out while my head felt heavier and eyes felt swollen. The tears were already damping my cream colored face, while my maroon colored jacket had spots where the tears were. I couldn't see in the dark that well; when darkness came I knew it was a brand new world. It was like living in a world without light, and living in a world of black and white. There was no beautiful colors what so ever. There was no laughter, no smiles, and no other children. I understand why now children weren't allowed out at night. It was a whole different world then. My ink black hair flew like a black waterfall on my shoulders hearing these voices echo but never seeing these people's faces. They were like shadows; I couldn't see their face, what they were. I knew one thing; They couldn't be trusted no matter what they possibly said.

" _Leave me alone…just go away!" _

I screamed while they were already feasted on the fear and the edginess in my high pitched girlish voice. They knew by my voice I was a young girl that was helpless and defenseless. They knew enough about me than I knew about them. The only thing I knew they weren't normal people, that just any little girl could trust. They were monsters that had quite more on their feeble minds than any other human being would. I jumped off the swing, feeling my feet hit the hard cement underneath. My eyes keep the close eye on them; I couldn't turn my back away. I was too scared to even do that. I noticed there was more than just one of them. There was at least a crowd of these dark figures creeping down the play construction part. The cigarettes were the only thing that helped me see them. Once they threw them down to the ground I knew, I had to run no matter what.

"_Feisty little girl ain't you? Feisty is exactly what I had in mind…" _

The boy's dark, raspy, bitter voice whispered sickly that made me basically jump out of my skin. All I could rely on was my feet to pick up faster than they ever had before. Fast, like they were burning on fire. But still have enough air and strength to do so without getting exhausted. My eyes opened wider seeing the real world for what it truly was. I began to realize the world wasn't full of friendly caring people, or fuzzy cute animals or any bullshit like that.

I was a girl who saw the world for what it really is. Scary, demented, twisted and psychotic. I began to see the world's true colors and began to notice the lies we listened to. I saw the world now as a miserable mistake; black and white and scary. I noticed afterwards when the sun went down I ran as fast as I could.. It wasn't all cotton candy dreams full of love. All I can say somebody lied….

_**Author Notes: **_

I haven't written this one for awhile so I decided I would try to get back into the habit. It's different to write in point of view and especially Kikyo's. I tried to make this as best as I could and make it somewhat realistic. Hopefully you guys like it. Please R&R!)


	5. Sweet Horrible Memories

_What were the chances of a young girl running away from the monsters that inhabited the dark, creepy, streets? _Slim to none.

I don't even know how I was capable of out running them. The odds seemed all against me, and nothing seemed to be on my side. All I knew I had to run, and continued to run even if my feet were burning, and my throat was dry. There was no time to stop and catch my breath like we did in pre school, when we chased each other for fun. This wasn't my idea of fun, it was they're idea of fun. They loved watching me run, flee for my life. Watching me blaze in fear, something that made they're mouths melt, something that made them run after me until they got what they desired. This was just an early wake up call; it opened my eyes to something that was real. The truth. The life that children weren't meant to live or see, but I got a glimpse, that turned into a glimpse of my future. The one I'm still living so far, right now.

" _Don't run away. Come and play with us. We'll have fun. If not, we'll play another game.. That involves ropes, and you screaming. Either way we'll have fun won't we?" _

When I was younger, I didn't even know exactly what they were trying to hint at. All I knew something in my gut was telling me to just run. Don't answer, don't stop, don't look back, just run; and ignore everything else. I could hardly see where I was even running to; everything was just a blur and everything happened so quick. They all laughed gruesomely, flicking their cigarettes letting them burn the dead colored grass.

There was no where to run; all I knew there was a dead street after dead street, and anybody was in sight to save me. My father hadn't remembered where I was, and my mother was still working late.

" Daddy! Mommy!"

I screamed out just like any child in danger would. I just looked up star covered skies imagining they're faces hoping they'd just run out like always and save me from danger.

I knew even at that age, I was just a young girl that couldn't outrun teenagers, but I didn't let that idea even cross my mind. They kept shouting and laughing making the hairs stand on end, while I was blindly running for something, or someone to save me.

The question did anyone save me? Could I even save myself? No. Everything was a blur afterwards. Only laughter and bruises were the only thing I could remember. My mother's car pulling to the curve in alarm when she saw the state I was in. I was like a wounded animal just sitting and waiting to die. Waiting for the pain and suffering to blow over. In a sense I deserved it. No young girl was allowed to stay outside, and they proved that. Every single one of them.

I still pass by that park. The memories..The sweet memories of me being a young, foolish girl that lost everything; her mother, respect for her father, and respect for the whole world and herself. Maybe that's why I'm so bitter. I lost more than that, I lost my dignity, my soul, my heart, and apart of myself I'll never get back. The part that held such beauty, and happiness.

Like fruit gone rotten. Transformed after being left unprotected, and left to rot inside and out. They raped and stole a piece of me that I'll never get back, ever. The ounce of happiness…it was stolen away from the young girl. The young girl that was dead along time ago…

My mother came, but too late. Isn't that how it is? When you need help the most it's never there, and when you don't need it it's around? Just my theory that I believe is true.

The minute she smelt the thick sickening toxic beer fuming from my father's mouth, and her young child not in bed she knew I was alone, and the possibilities of what could happen.. after all I could have been dead. Sometimes I believe that occurrence was an early death to put me out of my misery for the years ahead. I regret my mother picking me up and rushing me to the hospital. Yet, I love her cause it proved someone loved me and cared for me and that I wasn't alone. A mother would want anything for their child; to be safe and live a strong, healthy life. You can't blame her. Then again I was never put out of my misery.. That just brought me into more.

My park never looked emptier. The swings swung in the light mid breeze as though children were moving them. I hated going pass that park. I could remember exactly where I fell and where the blood stained the road and the grass. I was robbed off my childhood if anyone has a right to complain I do. I don't know why they try to make it seem like they have problems. If they were in my shoes they'd see the world and life in a new angle, and they'd probably beg to have their old life back.

" Maybe it would have been better if I died then. I think living is more torment than dying it's self. Mother I can't blame you though. I love you a lot. You did everything for me you could possibility do. Even placing your life on the line. Now everything is going to change. I'll get dad to rot in hell for what he does. I promise." I kept telling myself looking up to the distant stars thinking of my mother, imagining her soft, supple face and the cheery smile she always wore. Nobody could be that happy if they knew they were in danger, and living with a crazy father. I think she only wore that smile to make it seem like everything was alright. Fact it, it never was.

My feet just dragged through the puddles that swallowed the roads. My head just lifted the moment my house came into my sight, my view. It looked like hell more than ever. You could tell the house was rotting inside out. The windows were completely broken in, and the panels from the side were just holding on by a thread. As much as I want to run away the fact is I can't, not until I get everything done I need to. Once I do I'll be gone and out of sight forever. I had to grow up early just to take care of myself and my father. I plan to leave him rotting there without any money to waste. Without me he'd be nothing.

He could control my mother but he's not going to control me. Or kill me either.

My feet just hit the deformed cement stairs leading up to the small porch towards the front door. I could only swallow knowing my father was in there just by the smashing glasses of beer bottles and loud music raging from the television. It was like entering hell.

My throat was already dry and my fists were red as anything. I just prayed I knew enough self-defensive to leave him mark and bruises, or even leave him dead. If Inuyasha could take me down, my father could with just one hand wrapped around my neck. My hands grasp the brass doorknob opening the door the slightest to see the huge figure with a mound of beer bottles around my mother's flower printed sofa. You could walk in and smell the disgusting beer fumes. The beer was everywhere. In the carpet, the sofa, and usually in his hands. My mom's beautiful sofa was so white and bright and now, it's stained and beaten up.

" Kikyo where the hell were you…You stupid slut.. " His heavy voice yelled, taking the beer bottle away from his lips and trashing in down on the carpet. I stood right in front of the door way glaring at him, hating his guts for even saying a word to me. The slut comment didn't bother me, I was surprised he could even form a sentence properly after all the beers he drank. I wanted him to die, drop dead of alcohol poisoning so I wouldn't have to deal with him at all. I prayed I had the guts to murder himself, but I'd probably have regrets like humans do, but he never did. Frozen in the door way I refused to even answer to him, I just bite my lip and crawled towards the stairwell hoping he'd go back to the television again.

My hands grasped the stair railing, slowly taking it upstairs to stay in my room and keep my sane. I just wanted to escape, but I just couldn't. I didn't have the money yet and I just wanted my father to die, or behind bars. I didn't want to run away knowing my father was still living, still breathing, when he deserved to perish because what he did to my mother. How sweet it was to get greeted by your father getting called a slut…He doesn't even know me anymore, and I'm glad he doesn't. He'll drown in his beer soon enough. He was the one who let me get hurt, he was the one who left my childhood empty. He was the one who let strangers caress me, fondle me, and try to murder me. If I died then would you have even cared? Probably not.

" Kikyo come here…little lady.. Let's have a talk just between you and I. Father and daughter…" He actually raised himself off my mother's sofa, the front of his shirt stained with beer and food and stumble all over his face. I didn't trust him word, I didn't let myself place my guard down no matter what he seem to say. He was intoxicated, those words meant nothing to me. We weren't father and daughter anymore. A father and daughter would be close, caring, and would never abuse her. I didn't let the past corrupt me. All I knew I was going to have to leave, and leave him in misery.

I didn't dare to look at him. I didn't want to make me fall and believed he cared. I almost did for that moment. The way he said it sounded so sincere, so real, so human. My head was pounding, but I squeezed my eyes tightly letting that memory fade and proceeded up the stairs without hesitation. I had nobody to run to. Nobody to listen to me cry, and care. The phone was useless, it was only for calling the police or ordering food. My hands stumbled for the door knob of my room, flying into my room and locking the door and throwing myself on my bed. My black hair was all sweaty in face, and I just expected my father to go back into his chair and rot some more… but no I was wrong…

' _Kikyo don't believe that.. He's intoxicated, he's lying. Don't you dare believe him." _My voice kept telling me over and over again, to be strong and don't let anything stand in your way. I felt trapped inside my own mind, and my own world.. but I was the only one who felt like that? Was I the only teenager who was robbed of everything? Robbed of a mother, her dignity, and her childhood? Maybe I wasn't but still that emptiness remained.

"_So full of life.. yet so empty.."_ I could only whisper myself staring at my reflection harshly looking at the pitiful, broken, heavy hearted girl looking straight at me. "_Who will save you?" _I could hear myself ask and I could only pitiful stare at the ground and pick at my bracelet. " _Nobody can…" _

I just threw myself into my warped bed, feeling the springs underneath uncomfortably stab into my back. Tomorrow I had to continue my lessons doing self defensive, and also go to my Psychiatrist. Lay there and talk about my problems…Like he can do a single thing about it. All he can do is nod and place in advice, but nothing that will save me anyways. What good are they for? Fucking nothing. I've been going for two years and yet my problems aren't going away and they never will. Not after my own mother was murdered, and the fact I witnessed it all. How can that not corrupt you? Does he expect me to magically be cured and have a happy normal life? No way in hell….

Banging came from my door. My father pounding harder and harder, that made my heart crawl to my throat and it thrown back into it's original spot. He was trying to come in, and in my mind for all the wrong reasons. He always sat in front of the television drinking beers but instead, he was going after me. My father's beating on the down didn't stop. His shouting and ranting use to scare me, but I knew what I could expect…hell.." _Kikyo you fucking slut get out here…Don't make me come in there you bitch…"_

The lock was already breaking apart while he stormed in, grabbing me, while my hands and nails painfully dug into the floor.To remember all the scars…not the scars that flake off and someday heal..the type of scars that will always bleed inside of me.

Author's Notes: Well another disturbing chapter of mine. Please RR!


	6. Nothing New

My hands were already grasping the floorboards tight, while I could feel his heavy weight crushing my body, practically flat as the ground beneath me. I felt like I was drowning; I could barely gather any air into my lungs, and I could feel my throat burning while gasping for air desperately. _"_ I'm not letting him destroy me like he did my mother." I told myself again and again, seeing the reflection of me in my eyes and for once seeing no fear fled through them. For awhile I saw my face, until I began to see my mother's terrified face screaming with her hands out, with her bloody scream so fresh in my mind. My father just stared at me constantly, with his fists wrapped around my wrists and while I was determined to keep show no fear, and not be that scared little girl no matter what the cost. " Kikyo you fucking bitch." His words rolled off his lips with the sound of pleasure running through his veins, while they tightened even harder around my wrists hoping he could heard the cracks and my bones breaking underneath pressure.

" _What are you going to do? Kill me like you did mom?" _Something inside me was able to scream out. It didn't matter that I was kissing the disgusting floorboards, and that blood was smudged all over my face and my dark lipstick to the one side of my face. In fact, it was the dumbest thing to say when he was able to kill me. I knew he was able to, and that's what I once feared before. My eyes narrowing, waiting for his hands to crush me harder into the ground but instead, his grip was loosening feeling my lungs rush with air and my veins filled with blood again. My disgusting excuse for a father was breathing heavier, while he was completely stunned. I was surprised my words could even have such an affect on him after all, drinking and how he was this seemed like the first time he actually listened to me.

He didn't say one word to me. In his eyes, it's almost like he was struggling and realizing his own flesh and blood was his victim. Something gave me the courage to say that, and I never thought his grip would loosen; it was the complete opposite to what I was thinking.

He was acting like he saw someone else and never me. All I could do was laugh inside; the fact that his daughter, his own flesh and blood finally got through to him. He just stood over me like a shadow, while I stood my ground waiting and watching to see what he was going to do next. I'm a fool, yes I'll admit but something kicked in that gave me such victory a taste, that I had a glimpse of a chance to breathe just awhile longer.

His heavy looking eyes blood shot, stared at me longer until I saw his eyes cringe with anger and thoughts, seeing the veins in his neck bulge while the sweat beamed down hisface. " Kikyo.. You bitch. Get the hell out of here…" His voice sounded calm for a moment, almost believable that he was such a normal gentle human being. It almost fooled me that he killed my mother, but yet her grave and the fact I saw it made me remember truly what he was; a monster. A monster with no heart.

His hands just grabbed the beer bottle that laid inside my bedroom floor, and chucked it in anger while it smashing against my wall just missing my head. The beer splashed and stained the bed, while my eyes bleed with tears in hate knowing this is how my life is,and this is how it will likely end._ " You'll be sorry when your own daughter is gone!" _I cried out rushing for the edge of the window, while his feet pounded against the floorboards trying to get me back and continue beating me until I laid broken and beatenon the ground. His hands wrapped around my leg, while I could only fail and kick with force and feeling my head knock against the side of the wall hitting me in the temples that was enough to knock me out.

" Get the fuck off of me! Your not my fucking father anymore! A father doesn't beat their fucking kid!" I managed to yell at my loudest, through the sounds of his screaming and things smashing and falling apart. Clearly I kicked him hard enough, able to jump from the bedroom window and hitting the ground and continued running without ever looking back. All I could hear was the sound of his screaming from miles away, while my feet kept hitting the pavement and I continued running, like that scared little girl I use to be

I ran past the park, cringed when I saw the swings silently moving by themselves and remembering what almost happened to me because of my father. I could have been killed, or raped. Maybe even both. But he didn't care. He was too drunk too give a shit. I always thought smoking and drugs were bad, but now I look at drinking and every single beer bottle and just think… somebody's going to die tonight. I didn't care where I was running, or where I was going. All I knew was to keep running until I was out of mind, and out of sight.

_-_

" _I rather sleep on the damn streets than live in that house a second longer…" _I thought to myself, rushing past all the pretty houses that were particularly quiet and partly lit throughout the night. My violet eyes widened when I saw the abandoned school, knowing I could sleep there for tonight. I remembered passing by girls on the streets, shivering. Pretty girls that were suffering and begging to live but yet on the verge of death. I remember walking down there, seeing there pathetic faces lurking around every corner judging us because we had so much more than they ever had. I always read about girls sleeping outside on the streets, that were dying and getting raped every day. I didn't want to become that victim again, and the school was my best bet. My home, away from home

" _Fuck. Only if he was a fucking father. Only if he understood the shit he's putting on my shoulders. He can't even realize what he's doing to me anymore. One day, he will die and one day I'll be happy. He deserves to die. I can't wait until I have everything down to kick his ass. I'll be begging for him to run after me, just so I can choke him with my own bare two hands. Once I get the money, and everything I'll need I'll leave. And never coming back." _My hands were already growing colder, feeling the icy wind smacking against my cheeks almost like a fist to my face. My head was already throbbing, feeling the new mark with my fingertips adding it to my collection of scars. I felt compelled to laugh. Not laughing because it was funny, laughing because this is what we've become

I just stared at the huge empty building seeing the shadow cast over me, seeing that it was once full of life and now that it was empty, like my heart. The windows were cracked open, broken with huge stones and beer bottles that surrounded the edges knowing people wanted to break into it, and wanted to cause hell and trouble near it._ " Not a bad place to sleep tonight. After all, no one will be out to hurt me here. The only person that can hurt me right now. Is me." _My hands grasped the edge of the building, leveling myself up to the broken windows and throwing myself into the empty building, and imagining students and kids running up and down the stairs, where I was.

" _Tomorrow, I can relax knowing I'll be going to self-defensive. Then I'll see that rotten Inuyasha there. He thinks he has the worst life, that his life is worse than everybody else's. Fuck, what does he know? He looks at me like I'm a liar. When was it ever a competition to compare each other's lives to see who's worse? Than again, there's something about him. Something I can't explain. I can never trust anyone.. but it seems it possible to trust him….but why?" _I kept muttering to myself, lingering around the moonlight that shone through the open window, not worried about the shadows or whatever else that was in the building. It was home to me. I just remembered his rough face, and his flaring anger written on his face and his attitude that stunned me completely. His eyes glaring at me, and his hands once around my neck.

He was nothing special. But after everything had happened to me, I felt like I could trust no living soul. But with him, something made me want to open up. Maybe the fact that I had stumbled upon someone who saw the world exactly like me. I never thought their was another human being out there that was in the same spot. Everyone else I stumbled upon rubbed it in that their lives were perfect, full of happiness. Taking my words and feelings as a joke, as though I never had any. They were the fuckers that made life much miserable, people who didn't and won't understand what it's like walking in my shoes

" _Well Kikyo. This is home tonight." _I told myself again and again, looking at my surroundings seeing there was nothing. It always seemed I was always by myself. Even if, my father was around. Inside I am alone. And outside it may not look that way. I placed a smile on my face when I thought about the defensive class. For once in my life it was something to look forward to, even if it was just so small and simple_. " I'll be one step closer to be stronger than I am, and one step closer to freedom." _

_Someone who was bleeding inside and out, someone who had many problems of their own just made me feel happier knowing… at least I'm not the only one…._

_Author's Notes:_

_I know I haven't updated in awhile.. well now I can say I did! It's kind of short, but bare with me here. Please Read and review! _


	7. Hear Me

The school had been abandoned forever, and to everyone else it was just a stupid building that had survived one of the world wars. To me, it was considered my home that was surrounded with broken shards of glass, and the cold breeze blowing and teasing me as though there was someone else in the room, when they're clearly wasn't. I could barely get to sleep, when it wasn't the comfort of my own bed, but I wasn't going back there. I need I'd have to once again some day, and face my father who had abused and had the blood of my mother smeared on his own hands and he could of cared less. It disgusted me, knowing I once loved him, and let him look after me. It was like living with a convicted killer, and you'd just never think it would be your own father, let alone someone close to you, or was.

My body began to shake, hugging my knees feeling myself waking after reliving bottle smashing and his angered voice and his footsteps shaking the house, going out of his way just to beat me. It was too real to bare. Every day I had a dream and it was always the same; My father killing me. I always wait for that day to happen, because to me if it hasn't happened yet it will be….

* * *

"_ I can't go back there. I'll probably have to drop out of that damn defense class soon. It may cost money, but it's going to cost my damn life if I can't go there anymore! How can I show my face there with the bruises all over me? Inuyasha will just laugh. I don't want to go anywhere. Nobody fucking understands me, let alone my problems? Nobody gives a damn!"_

I screamed, taking the rock that had once had smashed the window into pieces from probably teenagers thinking they ran the whole entire city. I heard the glass break with ease, and not even that satisfied me. The moon hung brightly in the sky, as I could hear some loud noises of guy's nasty idiotic laughter that disgusted me; it sounded exactly the guys who hounded me down when I was younger and attempted to steal my every once of hope and dignity I had left. They took it all away, in a snap and people wonder why I hate everyone. I can't trust them. Every time I do I dig myself a grave, and to me I've already been buried…buried alive…

_" No one will care. It will always be that way. Inuyasha is just an asshole who thinks he's life is great and oh so wonderful. He needs to lay off and leave me alone like the rest. There's something about him I hate. The fact I can feel I can trust him, when the fact is he's like everyone else…Hurtful and horrible. I hate seeing his face, I hate looking into those eyes as he glares back at me. Forget it. I need to learn that self defensive soon, and I can't back out. I'll come back when my wounds heal at least."_

I just had a glimpse of Inuyasha's hate aimed at me, remembering how easily he took me down, and seeing if that was my father I'd be a goner. He was very mysterious, the fact I trusted him and didn't know him made me sick to my stomach. The famous glare was all I could see, and his little smile in the corner of his lips that said ' come on hate me.'

I woke up to the sound of cars flying by, and surrounded by the shards of glass from the broken window. I just wiped myself down, drowned in my thoughts knowing I couldn't hide here my whole entire life, as much as I felt safe I just couldn't hide all the time no matter how I felt. I slowly slipped from the building as my feet hit my pavement, reminding me how I'd jump out of my bedroom window and dash down the street when my father would throw and smash things. He would always get so close to placing his arm around my neck and throw me back. I was glad to know I was fast enough, without that I would have been hung high like my mother, whom I miss and wish sometimes was here only for my sake.

" _I might as well go to the defensive place. I need it. I need a fucking job too. I don't wanna drop out of that place I need it badly. No one understands that isn't fun for me.. It's a matter between life or death. I plan to live_…"

I told myself as I headed down the long narrow streets passing the small stores looking at the big sign that read ' Siami's Defensive' seeing the window you could see right into, and see a whole bunch of people kicking and punching and learning moves that they made seem was just a game that made me sick to my stomach. My hands just cupped around the handle of the door, seeing Inuyasha from my glance sitting there, standing out from everyone with the long silver hair noticing everyone stood clear of him. I watched him stand up, and the fire lit in his eyes and standing motionlessly with his arms raised with the attitude he wasn't going to take anything from anyone with caused me to smile abit.

" Where the hell is that wench? Feh, she probably didn't show since she's too afraid of me to begin with. A girl like her makes me laugh. She's stupid and pathetic, and it was a wonder why she was here in the first place. She thinks her life is perfect, only if she knew what mine was like."

Those thoughts raced through his mind. He felt out a place for once, when I hadn't been around. He never saw another girl or person like me, with the same attitude or the fact I looked like I was hiding something that everyone would love to unfold and find out. I had watched knowing the class was almost over, while I attempted to push the door open but I had froze when Inuyasha knocked the one guy to the ground, and his head turned towards my direction now staring me directly in the face that made me back away.

" _What the hell is my problem! It's just him, he's nobody fucking special."_

I told myself seeing Inuyasha wipe the sweat from underneath his white bangs that was the oddest color I had ever seen before. He just stretched noticing how hard he fought, and how he was so focused more then anyone else had been. Everyone grabbed their coats and sped off, while I swallowed and walked in with my head down now ready to find the instructor, but I found something else instead that was unwanted…Inuyasha…

" Oh there you are wench. I thought you were ready to quit. Since well you didn't come back."

His face was in mine, looking down at me trying to make me feel hated and unwanted, and sadly enough I had already felt that. He threw on his dark red jacket that looked like the color of blood, as he slipped it on and zipped it up and placed his bare feet back into his worn down shoes that looked like he could barely could afford a pair. I could feel him staring at me underneath his bangs, that sent a shiver directly through me.

" It's none of you business so stay out of it you asshole! I don't quit that easily either. Don't take me for your average girl alright. I'm not, so fuck off and leave me alone!"

He could see me hiding my face, and rolling down my sleeves when I saw his eyes drifted away from my face down near my bruises, and I hoped to god he didn't see them. He had gotten me mad enough I stormed off effortlessly down the street, as he followed me once again.

" I'm not leaving you alone. Besides you're a wench, and I'm here to make your life miserable..Just tell me what your hiding."

I just ducked my head down lower, trying to keep all the tears inside that I had kept inside for years. I didn't want to show him them, to him it would be considered weakness. He wouldn't leave me alone, and I swung around ready to knock him senseless until he caught my wrist in the air so fast, that it took my breathe away, and the focus of everything…till where I just stared into his fire lit eyes and his heinous glare of his.

He held my wrist tightly, as my sleeve loosely fell and I managed to throw my arm away before he could even spot it. I just threw my arm back to me, and I darted off right then and there.

" Leave me alone asshole just leave me alone!"

With that, I ran off once again. Back home. I stood at the door, swallowing wondering what abuse I was going to take next.


End file.
